cougaring in life (guest post #2)
epitome of “OnTheProwl”
These past 10 days, I have had the pleasuring of exploring Italy with my friend, TGS. As if her loyal companionship wasn’t enough, she also eagerly volunteered to write a guest post for y&f. Being a year older than I am, she has taken the liberty to enlighten my readership on the merits of being a cougar (an older woman who dates younger men). So, while she and I may disagree over the grammatical correctness of using the word “cougar” as a verb, (I think it is “to coug,” while she would argue that it is “to cougar”), we agree on the principle of the matter: the importance of female empowerment. Here goes:
In the four years that we have in this microcosm we refer to as ‘undergraduate life’, social experiments and mind games run rampant with the opposite gender. Even when the ‘pinnacle’ of college dating
is reached and a relationship (*gasp*) comes out of the woodwork, oh, is the guy dating a younger girl? A freshman? Don’t blink twice. There isn’t even a label for the guy in those pairings. On the other hand, the minute a girl goes after (or receives attention from) a younger guy, immediately she’s a cougar. me-yow.
There may not be significant judgment (in my case mainly comments are mainly in jest and are often self-referential) but what is the negative connotation? There exists this image of overly voluptuous mid-life crisis women in tight leopard shirts all hot and bothered around some 20 year olds looking for an easy way to a new car and some ‘experience’.
And there’s something wrong with that? Women getting what they want? I’m not even a year older than my boyfriend, and it was the first thing my best friend questioned when I pursued anything with said boy. And here i am now, a cougar. (Well, I might plead the fifth on the voluptuous leopard shirts.)
Real world exhibit A: one of the foremost divas, Madonna. Here she is running around with a guy who, I swear, is never wearing a shirt in photographs. He’s 23 and knows what’s up. And here is this world-class middle-aged artist and people are chiding her for some good fun? How does anyone know they’re not having an intellectual and emotionally equal relationship (besides the obvious ones with his abdominal muscles)? I mean, the woman is referred to by a single name and she still can’t have her youthful vigor without getting second looks. Eat your heart out, Guy Ritchie, your ex-wife is a cougar, and she is proud of it. Sorry not sorry. If the genders were reversed, clearly people would look twice, but not in the same capacity, and not for very long. Madonna, you are my role model: your biceps and young men make me swoon.In college I can understand the maturity level difference between guys and gals in different class years, but, really? There has to be more to it than that. Is it the idea that the woman is taking control in the relationship? A power play? These pairings strangely seem to be depicted as mid-life crises and fleeting, similar to hookup culture on college campuses. If people see a senior dating a sophomore, they probably think, “Please, that won’t last more than a month. Let her get it out of her system.”
I mean, even my mother who does in fact approve of the artsy boy I’m dating, still refers to him as ‘sophomore boy;’ (I was a junior at the time). But is it that bad to cougar in relationships? I mean, I’ve decided to expand my cougaring empire: most of my friends now are a year younger in school than I am. I mean, I think cougaring in life is great. Who doesn’t want some of the unbridled enthusiasm of the new freshmen every fall? Get out and live a little. Get some younger friends and resist being jaded until you have to actually face the real world.
Image taken from: http://www.wildanimalfightclub.com/Portals/41405/images//cougar.jpg